Snake in the House

"MOOOOMMMMYYY, there is a SNAKE in the hallway." 
Never the words a mother wants to hear as she walks in from unloading groceries.
So in true crazy Carolyn fashion, I attempt to determine using my very savvy Internet skillz what type of snake it is -- poisonous or not.  The dang thing was moving so fast I couldn't get much of a look so I trapped him in my bedroom! Ha! Score 1 for me! Then I thought about trying to catch him with my bare hands. I do watch too much TV, don't I?!  So I calmly dialed base housing and explained quickly that someone needed to come over immediately to come and get the thing out of my bedroom. I wasn't sharing my sleeping quarters with a snake. No chance.  The first man sent over told me he was unable to catch the snake but that he "thought" it was harmless.  Fabulous.  But it was still in my bedroom.  Another man was called over and they both shut themselves in my bedroom with a bucket and a few other devices that looked like they were used in the tower of London to torture criminals.  After 15 minutes they emerged victoriously.  The bedroom furniture, they stated, was in disarray.  Fine by me, I said, as long as the snake is out and unharmed.  Turns out it really was just a garden snake who had lost his way. 
Oh the fun that happens when Sam is deployed.